Ladies, don’t we just love romance & adventure; from a young age we dream of being pursued & loved deeply, unconditionally, & passionately. This is not some unrealistic fairytale story, where everything is perfect and marriage is easy, this is my story of learning what my young dreams really look like, in this modern-day hustle & bustle. Truth is, I believe marriage takes commitment, dedication & a lot of hard work and at some points in my marriage we’ve both considered throwing in the towel. I’ve also seen us bring out the best in one another and provide encouragement when needed the most. I believe God can use our marriage to bring strength in our weaknesses, calm to our storms, and a steady to our chaos.
Modern day culture tells us that we need to be strong, independent women – that we don’t need anyone…we can conquer the world all on our own. But, I couldn’t disagree more – I’m better for the Tribe, the Family & the Husband I have – we can accomplish so much more with a strong Village! You see, I have this incredible Knight in Shining Armor; he shows up for all of my battles and pursues me with a relentless commitment to standing by me, through it all. He doesn’t have to but, he chooses to.
He’s had a gun pulled on him, stood in courtrooms defending our family, fathered the fatherless, fed the homeless, loved the unloved, cleaned the puke, sat through the recitals, done the homework, worked till his hands bled, and loved deeply.
So many times I’ve felt a peace roll over me as I watched my husband’s work truck round a corner. I remember sitting in a parking lot in 2004 and when his truck pulled-up, I felt my burden lighten, a smile came across my face and courage pulsed through my veins, his simple presence made me stronger. We drove to S.F. that day and sat with a pimp for 3 hours, talking about his life and trying to understand him better, my husband has this amazing way of making everyone feel comfortable in his presence, he can joke and relate to almost anyone. Then, he asked the hard question, the one he had dropped everything for that day because, I had called him crying; my husband asked the pimp to release my family member to us. She had called me asking for help to get out of “The Life” and a few hours later we were negotiating for her life at a Starbucks. Her pimp agreed to release her, he said he felt respected by my husband and believed our intentions were pure. Sadly, as we drove out of the city she felt panicked and jumped out of our car, running back to the homeless community she lived in. My husband pursued her but, was stopped at gunpoint. He held my hand and encouraged my heart as I cried on our long drive home. We lost that battle with her but, my husband won my heart even more that night, he could have easily said no to my request, instead he chose to be a brave hero in my eyes.
My husband is a no-filter, say it how it is kind of guy. I remember the day our courtroom broke out in laughter, as my husband was on the stand. The Judge was questioning him about the adoption of our niece and nephews and Chad said, “Your Honor, I only wanted one kid, I know what makes children and I purposely didn’t have more of my own.” The Judge laughed and told him that she believed he had accomplished that and more 🙂 He then proceeded to explain to the Judge that we were fighting to protect these children from further abuse and neglect, because it was the right thing to do, not because we wanted a bigger family. Simple truth, that’s my husband. He told me privately that he walked down that long 4 year battle of family betrayals, brutal court hearings, therapists, specialists, education plans and financial devastation, because he loved me and knew that I had to fight to protect them. He did it out of love for me.
My Grandfather “Papa” always loved Chad, they had such a mutual respect for one another and it’s given me great comfort in the loss of my grandfather, to remember him telling me how thankful he was to know that I would have Chad by my side in his absence. Fitting that my husband is now a Papa himself. I absolutely love hearing our grandchildren call him “Papa Chad”, it seriously melts my heart. He has chosen to show up in the life of our Ana-banana and it’s been incredibly beautiful and powerful. I cried watching him walk her down the aisle and I often hold back tears as I watch him spoil our grandchildren. The Papa title looks good on you babe.
Then, there’s our most recent battle, when I thought we were doing such a good job at raising our children and keeping them safe. This last attack has felt like Satan himself was trying to choke us out – a death grip of fear and rage around my neck until everything went black and I wanted to just tap-out. I sat in yet another parking lot waiting for our court hearing to start, my stomach was in knots and my eyes were heavy from exhaustion. Then, my knight in shining armor rounded the corner in his work truck, ready to stand strong and fight for us again. My husband’s silent presence, gave me the courage I needed to sit in that court room and stand for justice in the face of a predator. I couldn’t imagine having to walk through this life without him.
These men of honor are our greatest asset and we often let them slip to the back of the room while others take the stage of our attention and desire. Be careful of smoke and mirrors ladies, real men don’t need any of that noise, they work with quiet confidence, where they are most needed. Those loyal men that come home every day and love us in the simplest moments of life are a treasure. Their calm, steady presence when we need it most is one of the greatest gifts God can give us. Because, the true knight’s in shining armor shine brightest in the simple moments of life. They show up in all the little things that become the big things so, don’t take the mundane day-to-day for granted. The calm and steady of your routine builds a strong foundation for the big adventures and challenges you will face. So ladies, lets lift our glasses and toast to the hard working, humble men that chose to show up for us in our times of greatest need, our modern-day knights in shining armor…or work trucks 😉